I’m feeling numb

“Numb…I’m feeling numb. I feel like jumping off a cliff. I just feel like doing it, here and now. It really isn’t logical, me feeling like this. I broke up with my boyfriend, my parents aren’t here but my friends are always with me and I have so much fun with them, and yet…I can’t help it…I feel so alone. I gave up…on myself, on life. I don’t feel like working, like living. It’s like I don’t have a purpose…not just me…like nothing has purpose…everything lost meaning for me. I don’t want this…I want to be free. I need to be free…
We are all just slaves, to everything; ideas, thoughts, actions and societies.
I cannot see what the future has in store for me. I have my plans, I know what I want to do but it seems meaningless, we’re all going to die anyways so what’s the point?
Why do we live? Why are we here? Why isn’t there a reason behind everything? Is there a grand design? Why is there life??
I don’t understand but I want to, I need to. I have to know there is more to it. That’s why I’m numb.
I don’t know anything…life is nothing.
Why live, why exist?
Because you just do…
You have no choice?…Really???”